Why Friday Nights Rule

I'm laying in bed, typing this, wearing my Budweiser hoodie that has crumbies in its pouchie. Why? Because last weekend, when I wore this hoodie to the movies, I thought it a good idea to smuggle in my Texas toast for a mid-movie snack. Hmmm.... what was I thinking?

It's another Friday. Another week is gonzo. I'm whooped.

Friday's are important in the life of an educator. Of this, I am convinced. Tonight as I took a shot of tequila, on top of a beer and a cider, I couldn't help but toast to good memories and the reality that the shot itself would temporarily numb my mind for awhile. I've needed some decent mind-numbing lately--or so it's seemed like...

Student teaching has been rough. My teacher is this fabulous, wonderful, funny, talented teacher. She sets the standards so high, at least in my mind, that I constantly find myself feeling intimidated. I ask her stupid questions, I expect to need her permission for things--she just wants me to do it. To step up, to be a teacher.

Unfortunately, stepping up is harder than I thought. I need to be firm, I need to be tough, I need to make sure I have students' attentions before I move on, I need to have good mini-conferences with students who are chronic behavior offenders--only I seem to be slightly crappy at it. I never know what to say, what to do--and again--that pesky "am I saying th erigh thing?" factor sets in. The real classroom teacher is just so damn good. How does she do it?

We conference, and I'm slowly learning--but my small steps seem insignificant because I have no time to digest them (or to think about the art which they are). Instead, I'm drowning in the sea of paperwork that has become the Master's program side of things--the 20+ pages of lesson plans that I'm required to write a week in advance. I see merit in planning ahead, feel confident that my lesson objectives are solid (thanks to our professional development this past week), and understand that procrastination helps no one--but bullshitting a week's worth of lesson ahead of time, that I know I'm going to revise the night before anyway--this definitely irks me. Downright pisses me off, truth be told. And the stress caused by this BS is the nasty, sub-conscious, look-at-me-wrong-and-I-might-cry kind of stress. Not good. It all adds up to a bad equation--or at least an equation that needs a little mind-numbing on Friday nights.

So we'll see. Four weeks left. Amazing. It's going to be weird having time off, it's going to be weird not being in the classroom, and it's going to be weird not constantly thinking about these same 28 kids. I wonder if Friday nights will still be so significant in my life--as that much needed break from reality....