Recent Teaching Epiphanies

My dad was trying to be cute today—he snuck a fake “fan comment” about this here blog into the stack of papers I was trying to make sense of. He and my mom keep trying to check in on me; since what they do see is often am angry blur. It’s cute—very parental—and I do adore them for it.

Driving home today, after a surprise
visit from my field supervisor and a day of students running my classroom (with my trying fanatically to figure out how to regain control), I had this epiphany: teaching is a series of pieces—classroom management, lesson plans, curriculum resources/good learning activities, parents, colleagues/district expectations. When all the pieces fall together at the same time it's this tiny amazing work of art—it’s frickin' beautiful. Actually getting them to fit together at the same

time… well… that’s where experience and true craft become involved. Right now I feel like God is chucking random pieces my direction—one day I'll think I’ve mastered a particular piece and I'm headed for that illustrious big picture.... then something else goes wrong—rarely ever yielding the work of art (or even slight glimpse of the potential art some days…). Some days are definitely two pieces toward the end-goal, others are me wondering if I have any pieces at all.

Frustrated truly embodies my current emotional status. The writing of pointless lesson plans, the grading of endless papers, the rare ten minutes I don't spend thinking about school, the fact I don't have enough time to actually learn about the topics I'm about to teach, the fact Linda and I could say the exact same words and students will listen only to her just because she's Linda, the fact I feel guilty for taking time to eat when I know there's so much preparing/grading/stuff to be done... like I said: frustrated.

Fortunately, I've got two good things going. First, I do enjoy my mindless, festive, customer-service oriented job at the zoo (see picture above of inflatable Elmo and I this past weekend at ZooBoo). Second, I'm focused on those sixweeks off. A chance to read books for fun, watch TV, test drive some new trucks, and regain a relationship with my family. *sigh*