Two days later -- Reflection on Trip to Makah Nation

As I re-enter the rat race of my life (literally – we’ve caught two more HUGE rats in the past 24 hours), I take a few minutes to share quotes overheard on my inspiring trip to the Makah reservation at the Northwest tip of the United States:

“The van is just around the corner” – Said by someone about ten minutes before our van actually showed up….

“We’re the RENEGADE van!” –Tyson, as Kevin was tearing out of the rest stop, leaving all other vans in the dust…

“You were doing 59 in a 45, here’s a ticket for $122” –State Trooper to Kevin about an hour later…

“We’re on FIRE!” –Kevin, as he surveyed the van’s tires after we all smelled burning…

*singing* “We’re not GONNA MAKE IT!”—Nate as we all disembarked to check out the tires…

“How is it that we’re all considered ‘highly-qualified’ teachers, yet not one of us is mechanic?”—Julie, as we all pondered the van’s tires…

“Whale! Whale! Pull-over!” – Erin, “I’m pullin’ over!”—Tyson, as Erin and Julie saw whales a few minutes before we arrived at the reservation…

“You are all doing very well…”—Tribeswoman trying to teach us to speak the Makah language….

“Mmnpf, urfewi, Simona, you’re really good at this!”—Someone with cedar bark bracelet in their mouth, talking to Simona, who was quite the cedar bark craftsman…

“It’s amazing what our grandparents have done with no formal education. This is the beginning of the world.”—Tribeswoman to Eugene and I…

“I looked outside and I saw a bunch of GI Joes rolling by, and for once, it turned out the US government was doing something to protect us.” –Amazing tribal ambassador, speaking about how threats were made against the Makahs and the government stepped up to protect them – he said many other great things the essence of which I cannot convey….

“That van is going to come and get into our van, wait, no they’re not! They’re driving away!”—confusion caused by van drivers staying at different hotels…

“Just don’t lock the door” –Makah man who ended up sharing a bathroom with two other ladies and I….

“Unlock, lock, lock, unlock, unlock, lock?”—Julie and I asking the pattern by which we would make sure not to lock the Makah man out of the bathroom we were sharing…

“That’s a bit Eurocentric!”—Julie’s response to a line Tiffany read from a children’s story (for our elementary bonding bedtime story)…

“This is a DRUG song!”—Brad, while entire van listening to Jefferson Airplane, “White Rabbit”…

“ASS! ASS! ASS!” –Laxmi, chanting at Nate to moon another van AGAIN because they seemed to miss his first moon…

“Dude! What did you do!? Ohh! Arg!”—Kevin, responding to Tyson’s spitting on the hood of the van, after the tire smell returned….

*high pitched laughing* --Nate, cracking up after ladies went into bathroom after Mazen reportedly made it stinky….

“It smells like the vet – a mixture of cat and leather.”—Erin’s synopsis of the alleged bathroom smell…

The tribal members who shared with us were profound. The Makah culture exemplifies humanity in a way that I’m not sure I even have a handle on it. Big respect for them, their ability to share their land with those of us whose ancestors tried to steal it, their traditions, and their efforts to restore culture amongst their children. As the woman said, truly they are “the beginning of the world.”

Ideas in my brain...

Started this week stressed out over the stupid zoo. For no good reason, it just continued to piss me off that I'd been RIF'ed. Even with 27 straight days of rain, why the hell don't Washingtonians go to PDZA in winter? Tuesday, my boss called offering me a day of work next week. That was weird, but it did manage to put my mind at temporary ease. That, and vowing not to think so much about the stupid zoo. I'm an investor -- you get me invested in something and I'm whole-heartedly committed -- mind and all.

Grad school has been pushing the notion that we oughta be looking for jobs. If we're going to be employed for the '06-'07 school year, we gotta get on that shit. Thus, my mind has been on where I want to teach, what'll make me happiest. Unfortunately, it falls at a time when my mind is also on vacation -- either a trip with Kelly, or a trip to MO to spend some time with Leigh Anne. That means flying the hell away from Seattle.

Thus, all said, I feel a mixture of the sentiments expressed by the following overplayed musicians:

Nine Inch Nails

"I'm becoming less defined as days go by. Fading away, and well, you might say, I'm losing focus. Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself. Less concerned about fitting into the world, your world that is. Cause it doesn't really matter anymore. No it doesn't really matter anymore."

Sugarland

"Oh I swear this town gets smaller everyday, and I'm waitin for my chance. I'm gonna break away. I'm so sick and tired of being told what's good for me. People got lots of ideas, of who I'm supposed to be."

Last words: See Brokeback Mountain. One of the best I've seen in awhile.

First week revelations.... insights... whatevs...

We're like a week into the new year, and I've realized a few things. In no particular order, here they are:

1. Both my parents snore. This doesn't mean good odds for me as an elder adult.
2. The whole "temporary lay off" concept has been rougher on me than expected. I miss the zoo peeps (despite their oddities), I miss the predictable drama -- and I realize -- I was wayyy more invested in the place than I realized at the time. Change is good, transition is tricky.
3. Watching mass quantities of Law and Order, eating caloric foods, inhaling permanent marker mixed with rubber cement -- all while being crafty -- does have some therapeutic benefits. So does ironing the majority of your wardrobe with starch. I swear I'm not a loser... or Martha Stewart...
4. I possess the talent of being able to walk and read at the same time. This makes the gym's treadmill a helpful combination with grad school required reading. Sadly, the gym isn't open Sundays (see #3)...
5. Good friendship means you're willing to sit through four volumes of scrapbooks and still want to hangout with me -- poor Kelly -- subjected to far too many stories, yet still willing to hang out and possibly plan a trip somewhere!
6. Going "back to school" blows, yet I have not lost my talent to make something out of nothing. I attribute this to my psychotic tenth grade honors English teacher who used to have borderline orgasms over distant hints that we might be learning something...
7. Washington's minimum wage increase is hiking up prices everywhere -- cost me nearly twenty bucks to go to the movies and order a children's popcorn. And, my damned value meal at McDonalds went from $5.97 to $6.08 at the closest McDonalds to my house. I need to scope out other nearby ones -- for this is pure bullshit -- but I strongly feel minimum wage is to blame. Capitalism makes me bitter sometimes, at least when I'm taken aback in my consumer tendencies...
8. Spilling what's been on your heart (your soul) in ten minutes, about to cry from the passion and honesty of it all, simply astounded and befuddled because you've not been able to vocalize it but have been thinking it for weeks, to a friend about to fly to Austria who you probably won't see for another six months -- that's totally normal if you've known the friend since you were nine. The next encounter with this same friend should be interesting...

That's it for the moment.

GOALS for 2006

Seeing as how I was wise enough to create goals for '05, I reckon I better have a few for '06. Without further ado:

MY GOALS FOR 2006

1. Get a salaried job doing something, ideally teaching, by September (no more being RIFed or laid off seasonally....)
2. Go on at least two legitimate dates with men. (I am, afterall, a lovely lady lookin' for love...)
3. Become a Vital Fitness regular (routines can be beneficial -- I like the gym, I should go there more often!!)
4. Get my passport and travel abroad somewhere (it might just be to Canda, but options abound and Europe is on the table for summer '06...)
5. Learn from mistakes of first student teaching, and have fun taking risks for second student teaching (people already think I'm a "Greener" anyway -- may as well live it up a bit!)
6. Love on my true, longterm friends (who know who they are) a lot, invest in short term friendships (specifically those that have obvious reciprocity), and stop wasting time with acquaintances who don't really care about me and who I don't enjoy spending time with anyway! (classifying everyone will be the challenge....)
7. Continue acting like the paparazzi of the year's events with my digital camera -- feeling no shame whatsoever (I might have an addiction....)
8. Grow in boldness, risk-taking, and self-confidence (what can I say? I know my weakness...)
9. Eat healthier, sleep enough, keep the bod clean and smelling good, and brush/floss the hell out of my teeth (woot...)
10. Regularly partake in optimistic thinking -- even when pessimists are abundant and persistent (never hurts to think on the pos...)
11. Be unashamed to be creative, random, and spontaneous to the point of being nearly insane -- all in an attempt to relive the passion that came with being an RA, working at camp, and hanging out at the zoo this summer (authenticity in personality is aces...)
12. Have at least four or five savored moments where I look in the mirror and think "Damn, I DO look sexy today!" and really feel/mean it.
    
13. Redefine my concept of spirituality -- making it one that corresponds to my lifestyle and commitment to serving others, as well as seeing Christ in others on a regular basis (something about that Christmas sermon did get to me...)
14. Regularly go on "adventures" -- either going some place new (outdoors, touristy, trendy, etc.) or trying a new activity (wonder who I can corrupt into these so-called "adventures...")
15. Write often and regularly about my missives/good times -- acknowledinging I do write well -- even if I'm the only one who truly adores the voice in my writing (I snub my nose at thee, academic writing!)

Well, that's them. If you're inclined, encourage me on any of them as you encounter me throughout the year. Several involve others -- feel free to join. Particularly if you're a single male seeking a date with me... ha! Cheers to '06!

Goals, schmoals! 2005 Revisited...

I set goals in 2005. Here's how they turned out:

1. To continue to reduce/eliminate alcohol and tobacco from my life.
Ha! Ok, so I didn't drink or enjoy the ciggies as much this year (minus student teaching woes) as the year previous. However, this will not necessarily be a goal for 2006.

2. To continue to get out of credit card debt.
This one I've nearly accomplished. More than I ever thought I might, truth be told. True, student loans have helped -- but I also worked a hell of a lot this past year.

3. To cut back on frivilous spending and meals out.
I haven't been a frivilous spender -- I've definitely been frugal this year (minus some recent trips to the Dollar Store and one crazy day of spending at Value Village). Meals out -- yikes -- I do like me some food with friends. The weight gain factor has been the negative of this one...

4. To exercise more at a quality level.
Gym membership has made this one a reality. Now doing the quality exercise on a semi-regular basis will be the challenge in 2006.

5. To spend more time reading in beneficial ways.
Evidence of this one happened on this here blog, but also in all the grad school reading I've done this past year. Certainly reading for fun continues to be something I long for -- but who really has time to read??

6. To maintain existing friendships, build new ones, and remain exceptionally committed to my closest friends.
New Friendships: Peeps at the Zoo. Maintained Friendships: Grad school peeps. Commitment: I got to be a slacker this fall in particular.

7. To clean up my language, particularly my use of the Lord's name in vain.
A few beers later, I'm back at it -- or if I'm mad, I'm back at it with a MO accent -- but really my language is doing better. Student teaching definitely helped.

8. To continue doing a good deed for others daily.
This definitely got lost -- which is sad -- 'cause this was a good goal! Dammit!

9. To eat three healthy squares a day.
This goal waxed and waned a lot. Student teaching I was great about it -- not so much the past few weeks. Breakfast just doesn't want to get in my belly!

10. To get enough sleep most nights.
I was very good at this, even during student teaching! Past few weeks have had me on a Zoolights sleep schedule (a little kacked) but overall my attitude has improved as a result of the effort.

11. To maintain qualitydental hygiene.
My dentist retired this year and it's kinda left me floundering around. However, I've been consistent and constant -- so improvement has been made. I still hate to floss. Boo to flossing.

12. To spend regular time in the outdoors.
Not so good at this one -- barely made it out into nature this year (including summer). And, the winter started off strong for snowboarding -- but didn't even manage to get THAT done. Gah.

13. To grow spiritually and work on developing more in my relationship with God.
If anything, my spiritual life started strong this year -- was slightly active during student teaching and have been a total slacker these past few weeks. Not good. I'm not completely right with God right now -- working on it = priority.

This year's goals are in the works. Stay tuned!